at every table, i'll save you a seat

There's this cultural phenomenon that's happening a la Taylor Swift. Are you ready for it?

I'm not exactly referring to her now international Eras Tour that is breaking records and drawing crowds in a way never before seen. 

I am talking about how T Swift is bridging the mother-teen daughter relationship.

Taylor Swift is absolutely unique in the multi-generational reach she is having at this moment.

I was not ready for it. But, I'll tell you what. I'm absolutely here for it. 

When I was offered 2 last-minute tickets to the concert, Violet was the first person I wanted to invite along. But, I wasn't sure she was much of a fan. There was kind of this, wait, what? Oh, you're a fan, too? How did I not know this?!  The rest was history.

I read an article in The Boston Globe that asked, "Is Taylor Swift making it easier to be the mother of a teen girl?" And answers its own question with the quip:

"Instead of a rift, there's Taylor Swift."

Bless.

I believe good art, in all forms, connects, either because we relate to the art directly or because it exposes another's experience. Empathy ensues for stories to which we were once ignorant.

Taylor produces great art. She's inspiring, she's challenging, she's making us ask questions, she has us dancing in the kitchen. I mean. Come on. But, rare is Taylor Swift's ability to move the untamed and mysterious waters of mothers and their teen daughters.

Parenting is tough. Being a teen is, too.

While we both have so much love to give, it's complicated.

Communication takes a level of attunement that, on my best days, has me flexing every muscle of intentional, curious, gentle, and open-hearted patenting I can muster up. And on my worst? I'm left haggard, emotionally exhausted. Confused.

And, yet, being the parent of a teen invites us into a beautiful-- and, maybe just the most rewarding --kind of connection under the sun. Teens are so much more funny, smart, loving, deep, and attuned that we often give them credit for. They are incredible human beings. So, welcome is the medium that takes our child and ourselves mutually onto that hallowed ground of open-hearted communication.

Enter, Taylor.

Sure the concert was an epic show (the level of creative expression was mind-blowing). It was the most fun sing-along time I have ever had. It was beautiful. It was deeply moving to share with that crowd. We laughed. We screamed. We cried. But, it wasn't the carefree-ed-ness of the thing.

It's since we came home that does it for me.

V and I have this subtle language now. When we are quoting lines, or breaking down songs that we don't understand, or reading about the tour in the news-- the air just changes. We snap into flow. Snuffed out is any air of um, you could have said that differently or ugh, I just don't get you. Instead reigns this hallowed, I'm open handed, I'm here for you, I like being with you-- for which, vulnerably, our relationship so thirsts.

When we've gone through something difficult together and things are still tender I can chat up some T Swift and there is receptivity. It's been this magical way to say,

I'm still here for you.

And, I dare venture to believe she's saying back, I feel that, Mom.

Now, often when we hop in the car together she'll ask which album we should play.

Lover? Speak Now?

Yes, one of those. And, I love you, too, V.