can't do it. can't not do it. my thoughts today on fostering.
Two stories from today.
I was reading a book to Augie today and there was an illustration in the book of a boy, a girl, and a dog. Augie pointed and each of them and said, as he often does when he sees a picture like this, "That's me, and that's my sister, Violet and that's ______ [name of our last foster baby]."
I often fear that Augie does not understand fostering, and, thinking the foster boy was his brother, may have some complex about why his "brother" isn't around anymore. I don't ever want my kids to think that we may suddenly send one of them away so I try and talk to them a lot about how this whole crazy thing works. So, I say to Augie, "You know, Augs, _____ went to be with his family. I'm not his mommy and he was just staying with us for a little while."
I didn't expect a response cause I know he doesn't fully understand. Honestly, Augie barely seemed to notice any difference when ______ moved out. But, what does my 2 year old say?
"I want ______ to come home."
Yeah, I didn't have words for that one. Just tears. Ugh.
Fostering has been so killer-hard on our family. It's been a taxing year. I admit I spent quite a bit of time this year wanting my family to myself. I struggled through every single day. Yet, God was so faithful to us and I felt he kept us and cared for us so intimately. Dru and I recently talked about this most recent past year of our marriage and both agreed--it was the most stressful one. By far. But NOT the worst. It was our happiest. God sure meets you in the depths. There's nothing like it.
But, I look on fostering and I'm torn. I can't do it. I can't not do it. There are so many days I feel that this is so wrong for us, that it's too much. And, still, so many times that I see God bless my kids, and me, and Dru, through this. I experience these kids and feel that we can't possibly not do something. I know we aren't THE solution, but Dru and I feel that God has clearly led us to not stand by and do nothing.
Currently, we have a sweet 4 year old girl staying with us. We are just taking care of her for a week while her foster family is on vacation. She talks about her birth mommy and daddy a lot. She misses them. But she sat at our dinner table and told us about that something bad that happened at her home and she can't be with them now. Dru and I locked eyes. What to say?? Oh my gosh, I couldn't chew my food.
Then, she said it.
"I wish I could stay here forever."
Please pray for us as we take a little break this summer from fostering and seek the Lord and what He has for our future. We know he has called us to take up our cross daily and not to be content with a self-serving life. We are trusting that if He calls us to do big, crazy things (what seem like it to us, anyway :)), then He will be faithful to be there with us every step of the way. We're excited....and pretty darn desperate (for Him).
.
I was reading a book to Augie today and there was an illustration in the book of a boy, a girl, and a dog. Augie pointed and each of them and said, as he often does when he sees a picture like this, "That's me, and that's my sister, Violet and that's ______ [name of our last foster baby]."
I often fear that Augie does not understand fostering, and, thinking the foster boy was his brother, may have some complex about why his "brother" isn't around anymore. I don't ever want my kids to think that we may suddenly send one of them away so I try and talk to them a lot about how this whole crazy thing works. So, I say to Augie, "You know, Augs, _____ went to be with his family. I'm not his mommy and he was just staying with us for a little while."
I didn't expect a response cause I know he doesn't fully understand. Honestly, Augie barely seemed to notice any difference when ______ moved out. But, what does my 2 year old say?
"I want ______ to come home."
Yeah, I didn't have words for that one. Just tears. Ugh.
Fostering has been so killer-hard on our family. It's been a taxing year. I admit I spent quite a bit of time this year wanting my family to myself. I struggled through every single day. Yet, God was so faithful to us and I felt he kept us and cared for us so intimately. Dru and I recently talked about this most recent past year of our marriage and both agreed--it was the most stressful one. By far. But NOT the worst. It was our happiest. God sure meets you in the depths. There's nothing like it.
But, I look on fostering and I'm torn. I can't do it. I can't not do it. There are so many days I feel that this is so wrong for us, that it's too much. And, still, so many times that I see God bless my kids, and me, and Dru, through this. I experience these kids and feel that we can't possibly not do something. I know we aren't THE solution, but Dru and I feel that God has clearly led us to not stand by and do nothing.
Currently, we have a sweet 4 year old girl staying with us. We are just taking care of her for a week while her foster family is on vacation. She talks about her birth mommy and daddy a lot. She misses them. But she sat at our dinner table and told us about that something bad that happened at her home and she can't be with them now. Dru and I locked eyes. What to say?? Oh my gosh, I couldn't chew my food.
Then, she said it.
"I wish I could stay here forever."
Please pray for us as we take a little break this summer from fostering and seek the Lord and what He has for our future. We know he has called us to take up our cross daily and not to be content with a self-serving life. We are trusting that if He calls us to do big, crazy things (what seem like it to us, anyway :)), then He will be faithful to be there with us every step of the way. We're excited....and pretty darn desperate (for Him).
.
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