between a rock and a hard place.

September 17, 2011

between a rock and a hard place.

Mowgli. That'll be his web nickname. The day he came we said he looks like Mowgli from The Jungle Book and if you saw him you would so agree. :)

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But the stranger who dwells with you shall be to you as one born among you; and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:34

I read this verse that another blogger posted this morning and it spoke deeply to Dru and I. This is our prayer. That this boy will be to us as one born to us, that we will love him as we love our own no matter the future.

We do love him, but sometimes we struggle to freely express that love without fear. Sometimes we are selfish and we hold a little piece of ourselves back.

I haven't posted recently about Mowgli, I guess cause I don't really know what to say. It has been hard to love freely while the future remains unknown. Sometimes I build up a wall to keep from getting hurt. Yes, they keep telling us they know what the future is (that we will probably be able to keep him). But, I know how this system works and I know so much could change. It would take about a year for things to be finalized anyway. A year that I will be unsure where to rest my heart. 'Cept for the hope I have that God will keep transforming our love into a Christ-love, that seeks not to cover oneself or count the cost.

Help us, Lord, cause we're torn. Torn, because we ache to have a love for him that is as those born to us, but it's not there yet, it's guarded. We want nothing else but for him to never sleep under any other roof but ours, but we find ourselves unable to freely extend this Fatherly love without Your power. Lord, move quickly on behalf of little Mowgli who seeks to know love. He is waiting, waiting for you to move. Act quickly for him. And use our hearts according to your purposes for him. We will trust you, Lord. You're all we have.