on adopting.

I've been thinking awhile on how to bring up the A word here on the blog. It's true. We are in the adoption process.

There are already so many parts to this story...and we are still very early in our journey. I keep waiting to have enough time to tell the whole story of how we came to be adopting, but I'm starting to see I'll never have time to sit down and unload everything. It's time to start with little bits, though. And, hopefully, over time, the story will come together.

For now the headlines are such: We are working with an agency to adopt. TWO babies. From Haiti. Wow, did I just say that?

We haven't met the babies yet. We don't even know if they've been born.

It is estimated it will be 1-2 years until our babies are home.

Like I said, we are at the beginning of our journey. We have so many steps ahead of us.

Why Haiti? The earthquake (one year and one day ago) woke me up to what is going on there. I remember coming across a World magazine article last March about an orphaned baby there. It was awful. I read it to Dru. I cried and cried and felt physically sick and prayed out loud, "God help us figure out how to do SOMETHING". I really meant it. I mean, I've read sad stories of suffering around the world and truly feel a grief but don't know what to do and know what I could do would be so little that it can't fix all the hurt and the pain. I get discouraged. I move on. It's horrible but it's true. It's happened to me so many times. But after that article, it felt so real. I felt so connected. It was really, really different than any other sympathy I've felt toward a situation. I knew we HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

That said, I don't want to glorify adopting from Haiti like it's holier that any other adoption. Our heart-strings are definitely pulled when we look into EVERY type of adoption. Honestly, we looked into adopting from a few different countries. We looked into domestic adoptions and into even being foster parents (something God has grown my heart in a big way for and we definitely hope to be foster parents in the future). But, after a few months of prayer and waiting and looking and discussing...we just have faith for Haiti. Whenever we were looking at other options, our hearts just kept saying HAITI. So we are going to go for it, asking God to go before us and having FAITH that he can do the impossible. We're going for Haiti....

As far as why we are adopting at all. It's always something we've felt we would do. We've talked about it our whole marriage. When I was pregnant with Augie I started talking to Dru about it more and more. I felt a real sense that it was time. I had this strange daydream-type vision while I was pregnant. I was in Augie's room, working on organizing and decorating it, when I just saw myself with two black babies in that room. I know that sounds odd, but I got this picture of these chubby babies in my head and they were MY babies. As crazy as it sounds I "saw" them and immediately missed them. It wasn't like I was seeing someone else's cute kids but I instantly had a deep connection that they were my children.

Then sometime last summer Dru suggested we go to this Together for Adoption conference that was held in October. We went saying we knew we wanted to adopt sometime and came home saying it's time now. And when I say "we" I mean we. We'd come out of each session and I'd ask Dru how God was speaking to him. As he would tell me I didn't even know how to respond...cause everything God was opening his heart to was mirroring what God doing in me.

So that's a little of how we got here. Wow, I didn't think I'd get this far in one sitting.

Of course, we are so excited to grow our family and to welcome more little ones. We're scared, too. There are so many unknowns, not just with getting them here but with raising them. I have fears that it won't be enough. Adoption doesn't just "fix" everything. I know WE won't be enough. We will love them with everything in us but still, we won't be enough. I know we can be hopeful in adopting, though, because God is enough. Enough for us and He can be enough for them. He can heal them. His love can satisfy them. That, above everything we long for for our kids, is our prayer.

God adopted us. He welcomed us. That love compels us.