on giving birth.

My midwife gave me that little plastic baby that is supposedly the same size as my baby now...between 11 and 12 weeks. And yeah, I said "my midwife". Since my first appointment with my OB about 3 weeks back now, Dru and I have had an amazing journey of researching natural births and what kind of support we need to do this. All of that has brought us to the decision to birth with the help of a midwife at a birthing center instead of the hospital. I am not against hospitals in the slightest or against the use of drugs (although much of what I've read has made me have some second thoughts on whether or not they are actually helping). But they didn't work for me. Like I didn't get numb, like, they really did not work. I think I said in my last post that with Violet's birth I was given 2 epidurals yet still felt most everything- maybe even more that one would feel going naturally because I was on pitocin and having very strong, close together contractions over a long period of time. I was totally unprepared. So if I am making the decision to "go natural" (which I am), I best get my act together and get my butt prepared, eh?? I want to be equipped to work with my body and not just freak out and be completely overcome and out of control. I've come to believe a midwife is really the best trained person for the job of helping me with that. I've also come to understand that giving birth is a natural process-not an injury or an illness that requires medical attention. Now giving birth can most certainly cause something that would require the hospital's intervention. So the birth process must be guarded well.

We are soooo excited about this, I just have to say. Dru is so on board. I think he's the COOLEST guy ever the way he's supporting me and getting into all this. We love the birth center (have had an interview and a first appointment) which is actually an old, historical, Victorian house. There are 2 large birthing suites, like master bedrooms. Complete with huge birthing tubs. Yes! The center is right across the street from the hospital. 2 minutes from birthing bed to hospital bed, they say. Which makes us feel very comfortable. The center came highly recommended from a friend and my chiropractor.

I was really encouraged to learn a few things that helped my decision while looking into all this. A huge one is that several studies have been published comparing the safety of midwife births versus hospital births. They find that birthing with a midwife is as safe or safer than the hospital. Also, while this is all very unusual in America it is hugely popular in all of Europe and in Japan...and we have the worst infant and mother death rates of any of those countries. I find that so very sad. They also find that the satisfaction of the parents is much higher when baby is delivered by a midwife. On that note, I want to recommend an awesome documentary that Dru and I watched called "The Business of Being Born". I noticed with all the births the mothers were smiling and crying and just totally overcome with joy upon the birth of the baby. A woman interviewed compared it to being unplugged from earth and going to the moon. Going to the moon??? I felt like I was going to hades after V was born...yes, I love my baby mucho, but I felt totally disconnected from her. The 24 hours after I had her were the darkest moments I ever remember in my life. Something was very off chemically with me and I have since learned that the drugs can cut off these euphoric chemicals that God created to be released in our bodies upon the birth of a baby. I saw in that documentary something very different in the responses those women were having to their babies and it made me cry every time. I cried because I was so sad I missed that with my first delivery and I longed for that with my next one. I know the delivery will all be very painful and trying and yes, I will probably feel totally exasperated!! But I hope that as soon as baby is delivered I will feel differently than I did with V...my sweet V, where yes, everything turned out fine, but if I can hope for something even a little smoother shouldn't I?

Well, all this to say, I had my first appointment this week with my midwife and this is just so "up my alley" I am so pleased and thankful that we have found this wonderful place. She spent a whole hour and a half with me. Something else I love about them is that they take nutrition and prevention very seriously. She showed me how eating and avoiding certain foods can lead to preventing complications which I totally believe. They are quite thorough and do pap smears, blood work, sonograms, what else, same amount of appointments...they do everything the OB office does and more. Baby is doing well (I heard the heartbeat) and she said my health is looking great, my labs all came back from my OB as normal (cause the OB's office is where I had the first set done before we decided to switch).

I would definitely appreciate your prayers for us at this time. We want to do the very best for our baby, of course. We really feel that this is the right path at this time but are definitely going to keep open minds and continue to gather all the info we can to continue to progress in our knowledge of what is safest and healthiest for our kids. If you've read this far, wow, I really wouldn't have expected that. I blog mostly for my own record and for my family but I wouldn't be posting it on the web if I didn't totally want to invite you in and allow you to read. So if you read about all this, let me know! I'll be so happy to hear you did. :)